Earlier this week my grandfather was getting very weak, the doctor examined him and said no doubt only 78 hours to live the most. His body was shutting down. I went over that night to the retirement home where he lay, all curled up and fragile in his bed as a nurse tended to him. It was one of the saddest things I've ever seen. He tried to talk but no longer couldn't, and those who knew him would say he'd talk and talk and to anyone, (all ages, all races and both sexes easily) as his body was giving up after 93 years of working. He looked so lost and scared even yet happy to see us but sadly he could hardly keep his eyes open anymore as he got weaker, just like my grandmother, who passed sadly 2 years ago. Sadly he couldn't say hi or bye but he could grip tight, I held his hand and he held mine, as if he knew this was going to be the very last time he'll hold my hand and sadly I already knew it was going to be. Through WW2, through all the decades since, he was strong like a bull, rarely got sick, been in accidents, cancer and other injuries, I'm telling you people back in the day were built to last.
Since november he'd lost a lot of weight and could no longer walk or stand up by himself no more and would barely eat anymore. Seeing him so skinny and fragile, unable to speak or barely keep his eyes open was a stab in the heart. Sad to see someone like that and whose whn its someone whom you treasure. He was a outgoing, wedding crasher, party animal, fun, smiling/laughing man who also was stubborn as a mule and very independent and never like to show himself as weak. Seeing him like that was horrible. Even worse than Baba. The next day my little sister and mother visited in the morning, then later on my mother came back in the evening and sadly...once again just before she'd arrived, they told her he was dead. My mom was a wreck, she lost both parents in the span of two years and I lost two treasures that are now nothing more than a memory...
After six I get a phone call and it's mom giving me the bad news, once again I had to be like grim reaper and announce to everyone our last grandparent has passed. I cried and so did everyone else in my family, and yesterday was the viewing, I was bad crying and hurt with Baba but I was a little more calmer than my sisters were now this time it was the opposite, I was the most emotional one. I never get head aches and yesterday I had bad pain from all the crying and my family even told me to go downstairs and rest for a bit...Baba was the biggest lost I've had, it was horrible but I still had dido...but now, no more, he was the last and that was the real stab in the heart to know now: you will no longer have grandparents no more. They were every close to us, for over 10 years my mother was the caregiver and even us at times, we saw the good the bad and the ugly side of getting old. But I always remember the best side the happy warm side of them. Now...no more...just there's no more.
Today is also his and her wedding anniversary, yes they got married on valentines day, and he was buried right beside her today. The worst part was when they lowered my beloved Dido into the ground...last time they didn't do that for Baba, maybe it was because there was snow and needed to cover it up fast i'm unsure but it was really bad. I was really bad, it hit me the most that my god, they're gone, both of them are gone...! It was cold and windy, snow all around like there would be in his mother land. There is a saying, after you buried someone who's passed away, a bird or flock of birds will fly past or over you telling those alive that their loved one who had died, their spirit is free and happy. Telling you from the next life a sign, I'm ok. Right when we were watching him rest 6 feet in the ground a canada goose honked 3 times and flew right over out heads. Maybe it was him saying, "don't worry! I'm free and all is well!" What are the odds?
In the middle of winter I have't seen many birds fly in a flock away as much as i seen today all around as we were inside the building after the burial, driving home from the cemetery lost of birds kept flying together past or over us. I was crying hard and whimpering as they lowered him down but right when I saw the bird fly over our heads my heart went warm, remembering that. But started to hurt again seeing his casket covered with white and red roses lay down 6 feet deep into the earth, it was scary and sad to remember I can no longer see, hear, kiss or hug him again. And remembering right beside him baba his wife is laying and on their anniversary. I said hi to her and goodbye to him today. It snowed after off and on right after the burial, and then the sun shined very bright about a hour later.
I'm hurting yet relieved that it's done, they didn't have to suffer no more and we didn't have to worry for them anymore. The past 4 years it started to get worse, anything could have happened but at least they both went in their sleep, I hope there wasn't any pain. I'll be hurting still and even though it has been over 2 years ago that baba passed, not seeing her face in 2 years, i'm still hurting, I will be the same with dido. I loved both of them equally because they were both there for me equally too. Dido, I will miss you very much, I'm sad you had to go but it was your time, take babas hand and together on your wedding anniversary walk together as you'll start a new anniversary as you both live together in the kingdom of god where all the peace and happiness never ends.
Thank you Dido for teaching me to smile and laugh even when times are rough, never give up on what you want and don't be afraid to think and say what you'd like and thank you for giving me nothing but love, joy, laughs and great memories. I love you and I will miss you, until we meet again...